Dating sites and apps are very big business and are now accepted as a stigma-free mode of introduction which CAN help break that awful ice but....
THE 5 MOST IMPORTANT RULES ARE :-
1. Be respectful and considerate to others
Best behaviour if you like. And why not?
Never mind that you're communicating via what looks like a game.
This is real and there are real people reading your messages.
2. Be FRIENDLY
Keep things light and inject a little humour if you can
But try to calm your own nerves and your readers' nerves too
3. Be HONEST
This does NOT mean full confession!
Keep your statement in line with a gradually unfolding relationship
Just don't lie and invent things you think might be impressive
4. Be YOURSELF
Try not to be too inhibited or too brash
You want to find someone who will want YOU and not just some other persona you're acting out
5. Keep it Simple, Keep it Light
That FIRST DATE should be something short and simple - just a short chat over coffee perhaps
In a public place - for security as we all know there are crazies out there
Don't be afraid to go DUTCH - a first act of sharing is symbolic and avoids anyone worrying that the bill payer has expectations...
Seconds? Unless things have gone so well that a second date is assured just leave them with your thanks and "see you online" so that they don't feel pressured
Kiss Off - As with seconds. Unless their body language makes it inevitable do not try for a kiss and even if a kiss is on the cards just go for their cheek
Bottom Line - If you're too pushy you can scare someone off. It can be hard to really know what's right but genuinely LESS IS MORE
Leave them wanting more and you could be half-way to the next step in your love life
Good Luck!
But let's consider some of the dangers and pitfalls of opening a line of communication with a complete stranger:-
CATFISHING (Extortion)
Catfishing is a deceptive activity where a person creates a fictional persona or fake identity on a social networking service,
This can be general "bait" or aimed at a specific person and for any disreputable or illegal purpose but often to achieve financial gain at the expense of the victim(s).
Anyone feeling lonely or insecure is a potential target so try to spot the signs in advance
but you should certainly ALWAYS BLOCK ANY NEW OR RECENT CONTACT WHO IS ASKING FOR MONEY IN ANY FORM OR FOR ANY REASON
These con artists are skilled and persuasive - please do NOT be fooled.
ONS = One Night Stand (Sexual)
I don't presume to judge. If a purely sexual one-off encounter is what you're prepared to seek or accept then please just be honest in your profile and chat with others so that you don't mislead anyone but be aware that some subtlety is likely to be more attractive than explicit comments which may offend. Be aware that seekers of ONS may already be committed in a relationship and only looking for a clandestine sexual encounter.
NSA = No Strings Attached (Sexual)
Really the same cautions and comments apply here as for ONS except that this is essentially proposing a series of ONS with all the added and inherent risk of discovery where participants really do have commitments elsewhere.
NO PHOTO
You have to ask yourself why someone wanting to meet would not post their photo? Of course they could be very shy. They could be unfortunately disfigured in some way.
Most likely they do not want to be recognised by their existing partners?
SEXTING. (Sexual Suggestion)
Flirtations are one thing, sexting another thing altogether and especially from new or recent contacts. If messages become shocking or offensive then immediately block the sender..
DICKPIX (Sexual / Flashing)
The heading may be unfair to men but the practice is most often by men although women are equally capable of sending unsolicited photos of their genitalia. Neither case is considered particularly persuasive in attracting a new date and is little more than e-flashing - a potentially criminal offense. For avoidance, delay giving a phone number until you've established a reasonable level of rapport and trust and even then perhaps a landline if you have one - that cannot receive photos after all.
OLD PHOTOS
Most dating services track a member's age from their registered birth date and some don't allow subsequent 'correction'.
So if your contact looks remarkably well preserved for their years then it could just be an old photo.
Dating isn't easy and is rarely quick or successful so this may just be laziness or oversight rather than intentional deception but do try to keep an objective and open mind.
That said, NOBODY HAS A TIME MACHINE so ancient photos from a person's prime or best years are all very well but they are from a now irrelevant history.
RECENT photos give your dating prospects a fair chance to (a) know what's on offer and (b) to recognise you if and when a meeting should be arranged.
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