So, what better place to start than the beginning?
I was 23 years old, living in the South East of England (excuse the lack of exact location). I had moved to a new city six months prior to start a new life.
My Dad had died three years' prior and the town I grew up in held far too many bad memories and held me ransom to sadness and anger. So, I decided to do the best thing for me: leave. I was supposed to stay with a friend for three days and I never went home as I fell in love with the place so much. I had no job, no fixed address and no money. All I had was the clothes on my back.
I felt something I hadn't felt in so long and that was happiness. I found a job within a matter of days and my friend was happy for me to stay at his long term, so, all was good and a new start in a new city was on the cards for me.
So what it was a shitty call centre job on weekly pay? I didn't care!! I was happy and living somewhere I wanted to be with people I wanted to be with. It was the most liberating thing that I had possible ever experienced in my life up to that point.
That was all in the June, leading through the Summer. In September, I changed job. Something more stable. Monthly pay, higher salary etc. And that is where it happened.
The meeting.
That is where I met the man from which this whole thing came to pass. The man I thought was my soul mate, but was actually my worst nightmare all at the same time. I just couldn't see that until the best part of ten years later. There he was, sat right opposite me it felt like something in slow motion I looked at what I thought was a gorgeous face but then looked down thinking "fuck me he needs to be dragged through Topman or SOMETHING." - In case you can't gather, the clothes. My god the clothes were horrendous. I'll never forget that until the day I die. Those clothes got worse as the week went on, but, all I could see was that face, the face I thought was so alluring and so friendly. I was blind to the rest of it to a degree.
It was only on the second day that I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink.
He was on the phone at the time and he nodded his head. So, I wrote my number down gingerly and ran away like an embarrassed little schoolgirl. By the time I got to the office doorway, my phone rang. It was a number I didn't know. I decided to play coy and not answer the phone and walk off home as if nothing had happened: just send a text with his name on it. From what I recall he was somewhat taken aback that someone had asked him out and then done that. Looking back now it does make me giggle knowing that he missed his train home that night. Something over the course of the last ten years that was my fault and can't be disputed. I'll happily take that one lying down.
The next day, he had no qualms about coming straight back up to me asking what happened the previous night and that I hadn't answered the phone. I came up with some shitty excuse. Can't remember for my life now what it was. Either way he must have bought it otherwise I wouldn't be writing this today! Hindsight is a powerful thing so there is no point in using it in this instance.
Evening came and we went for a drink we got to the bar and when I think about it I should have walked then!
I paid for our drinks - I had rosé (I didn't even drink wine back then, but i wanted to look lady like) and he had a pint of something, I can't remember what now. I had just collected my rent from my tenants in the flat i owned and they were insistent on paying me quarterly in cash so I had somewhere in the region on £1300 in my purse. He was looking over my shoulder and his ears pricked and eyes lit up. My reply was "I'm not a criminal I promise" and felt an overwhelming desire to explain myself, knowing full well my financial situation was none of his business. We went on to talk for a while, about an hour and a half I would say until he got on the train back to where he was living at the time. He had not long since graduated from university, so, he was back living with his Mum and Stepfather and he had about an hours' train journey. He went on his way and we saw each other at work again the next morning.
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