If she doesn't say YES then the answer is NO
That age-old issue has been raised gain in the news and in even in Coronation Street where a drunken binge between friends turned into mate rape against a sleeping - passed out - victim who no way had the capacity to know what was happening let alone agree and consent.
Leaving aside the issue of whether a similarly drunk but still awake young man would have the agility and ability to commit the crime (and it IS a crime!) whilst his moral code and friend ethics are completely abandoned, having - inflicting - sexual assault on a limp, non-responsive victim is just wrong a every level.
Anybody who has suffered a burglary at their home will understand the lasting sense of violation that such victims experience.
How much more profound the sense of violation when not mere property but the victim's body is the scene of invasion and abuse?
Western society at least (finally) values women and their rights as equal to any man's
But too many macho characters claim testosterone is an overwhelming drug on men who in "must" are not totally in control or responsible for their actions.
They claim that victims lead on and encourage a situation that then gets out of control and which they then belatedly deny
It's all rubbish
NOTHING is more pleasurable than a couple making love on equal footing, both fully engaged and freely participating in the cycles of giving and receiving that lead to that ultimate release.
But this is an intense and very personal journey and EITHER party can opt out at any stage
I recently saw an unrelated program that suggested 80% of men (and nearly as many women) regularly masturbate so if the anticipated coupling fails they would certainly know how to relieve their tension without breaking trust or law!
So if she doesn't say YES then the answer is NO
and the only inaccuracy in that statement is inequality - it should read
IF THEY DON'T SAY YES THEN THE ANSWER IS NO