My Autistic Grandfather

Everyone has a peculiar family member. The one with quirks beyond compare. The one with a routine that MUST NOT be interfered with.

Or the one that is so ridiculously stubborn every other family member has given up with the idea of reasoning with them.

In my family, that person is my Grandfather.


My Grandad is very special to me.

Let me say that before I begin. My whole family are of the genuine belief that he is autistic. Breakfast things on the table ready. Lunch at 12.30 on the dot come what may, even if someone has died and dinner at bang on 5. If that get interfered with then all hell breaks loose through both family households: My Grandparents’ and my Aunt’s. Nobody ever hears the end of it for days.


The same TV programmes go on at the same time every day.

The main offender is “American Pickers”. Most days, my poor 73 year old Grandma sits there is despair, waiting for him to go on his next trip whereby he’ll be gone for weeks at a time. It’s quite amusing to watch. My grandparents aren’t even elderly or frail. They’re just hilarious. If I could post videos I would. Just imagine one of those old couples on a sitcom. When the television in on, that is them.


He feeds the dogs all manner of crap and my Grandma goes spare every time.

They shed a tonne of weight when he goes away. As soon as he comes back… BOOM the fatties return very quickly. You’ll frequently catch Teddy, the 6 year old Havenese licking out Grandad’s soya decaf cappuccino courtesy of Costa. It’s OK “because it’s not dairy” but then he feeds Darcy, the 7 year old cocker spaniel half a Mars Bar no less than eight hours later – dog ownership 101.


When it comes to the garden, nobody is allowed to go near it.

So much so that my Grandma proceeds to leave the hose out on the grass just to watch him bite and annoy him, which all of us as a family think is hilarious. He sits looking out the window waiting for the sun to come out after it’s rained so he can mow his lawn. He’s shocking at DIY so banks it up for when my boyfriend visits and conscripts him into doing it, claiming he has “been too busy” then sits down in the evening with white wine claiming he’s had a hard day.


Does anyone else have grandparents like this?

Or is it just me? I sit there when I go to visit and I feel like I’m sat in a sitcom. Since reconnecting with them, I never fail to find myself laughing at something my autistic Grandfather has done. He is the butt of most family jokes, even more so when he blames Apple for a fault with his computer when its switched off at the wall. Sometimes I catch myself having to leave the room because I’m laughing that much. I feel cruel. If you could see, its hilarious. I love my family more than anything, but, my Grandad doesn’t help himself!


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